i've tried everything but nothing's going to go through. i'm still not good enough for you, i give more and more effort. i keep trying to adjust. i can't completely adjust but i'm trying. i'm trying to give you what you want. i really want to give you what you want .. but it's hard and scary when i know if i give you what you want, you'll leave me. although even when i'm already trying it out. i don't even feel like i'm yours anymore. i don't know about when i give you your freedom in our relationship, it's going to lead us to being solo. it's hard. no matter how much i wanna brush off the things that are going to hurt me and that is hurting me, just so you can be happy it's hard. i'm actually back to loving on my own. i'm loving you even if you're not at it anymore. i screw everything over and just keep loving you. i'm not caring about myself nomore. it's like, i don't care if i get hurt, i'll still love you. shit, i'm going back to my old self, when i'm just gonna screw the shit and still love. just gonna fuck everything and still love and love and love. even when it'll just be me in the end, i'm still going to love. like i don't even care anymore if i'm gonna get hurt, because i know i'm gonna get hurt. i know it's gonna be the same shit, you're going to leave me then i'm gonna be here just screwing shit over still fucking loving you after all this shit. whatever, i love you.