kahit anong gawing pagiwas, pilit paring kitang hinahanap.


Hi bby :) I love you.
so ya, kahit anong gawin mong pagiwas mo saakin, i'm still gonna stay, so stop testing please :(
we've spilled out yesterday, and i found out how you don't trust in love .. and you're still scared of your past.
baby, i'm gonna stay okay? and if you don't believe that now, it's okay because one day you'll realize that i have been here for you ever since how we started. baby, i know you're insecure with your past, and you think and know that everybody's gonna leave you anyways, that i'm also going to be leaving you. but baby, i'm here to show you nga that i'm going to stay. i'm here to prove it, kahit na you tell me to leave you, say you're not worth it, say " let's just break up " and threaten me all about these things. babe, i'm not going to leave you. i'll wait for you to trust me into staying in your life, and ill wait for that day where you will trust me that i'm not going to leave, because i haven't shown you, that i'm able to leave okay? even if you can be suicidal at times, saying you'd rather die, you'd rather not be alive, you'd rather not be born into this world. it hurts me kasi .. i don't wanna lose you naman eh. how can we go on with our future plans if you're gone ba? so please baby, i'll be patient and wait and do whatever i can, just to get that only trust from you and take away your fears of me leaving you. cos i promise, i won't be the one to leave. you've hurt me so much, but look, i'm still here aren't i? it's because i love you.

babe, i've noticed .. going through your tumblr posts, and how we developed in our first 6 months .. yknow .. we both, have actually taken eachother for granted .. i noticed you had a lot of sad posts, and obviously it was because of me. babe .. i'm sorry .. i have treated you bad as well, i've called you stupid, loser, a bitch, and all of the harsh names .. in our first 6 months, you really did try for me .. you didn't wanna lose me, you'd still cry over me, you'd get hurt, compared to now .. it's just wow .. you actually got used to it. and as of me, i'm here now, not wanting to lose you, crying over you, getting hurt. our roles did have changed, and i see now that i have taken your love for granted as well, because i didn't really appreciate what you did before. and i guess that's what you meant before how i don't appreciate you, i see that now bby .. i'm sorry .. :'( i should've paid attention more .. because now, now that i've lost most of that .. i'm starting to miss our beginning, and now that i know that i can't get that back nomore since we both have changed .. because now, it's like i'm asking for all that back, cos that's the loving that i want .. that's the loving that i'm looking for. i'm really sorry beh :'( i didn't see how much you tried for me, to make me actually happy. to try and like atleast get my trust back, and like, you'd be so scared to even lose me, and when you would come to first, to say sorry, and comfort me. i miss all that .. and i'm sorry i took that for granted baby .. i'm so sorry ..

and right now, we're going through our phases .. but i know, it's all just in time, we'll be completely okay later. andd by the way babe, i wanted a spill out day, so we can spill out whatever we're feeling if something didn't go right the other day, we can tell eachother the reasons why on spill out day. and babe, i really want solutions to our problems .. it's going to be a new year, and i still don't wanna be living in our past problems, i want an end to our problems by the end of this year, can we please try that? please? because i know, you don't want our problems anymore either .. but it's all just time and understanding since we've tried and tried so many times, but we end up just taking it the bad way then forget about whatever we said ..

i'm sorry baby for everything, and i thank and appreciate everything you do for me.
i love you so much baby<3